June 15, 2014
Unlike myself, Darren expressed no issues/problems with attending Father's Day events with our families (I locked myself in tight on Mother's Day). Darren is the father of Jude and Brinly, although not here, nonetheless, he is their dad. He is a superhero dad.
I am on a few facebook support groups for "loss of all multiples" and "life after pProm loss." There I connect with a very small population of women who 100% understand the pain because they do have experienced it first hand. I found a few "thoughts" on Father's Day there:
Taken from "Physcology Today," it discuses the impact of stillbirth on the father (while pointing out it's usually the mom's that get all the support). "Writes Return To Zero writer/director Sean Hanish, whose son was stillborn in 2005, “As a husband, a partner, a man you are a passenger on the pregnancy express. You can look out the window and watch the scenery go by, her belly grow, her skin glow, and if you’re lucky, catch your baby’s elbow as it presses against her belly like the dorsal fin of some alien sea creature making it more real for you. But you’re not the engineer. When the crash comes you are struggling with your own emotions, grief and loss, desolation and depression, and watching as your wife, your partner, your life jumps the tracks. Twisting metal tumbling out of control in slow motion. Prepare for impact.”
Darren, although strong and rarely discusses it, has gone through some serious impact on the said "Pregnancy Express."
We are healing slowly. Some days better than others. Today I gave Darren his first Father's Day Card. I acknowledge him as a dad and love him deeper for it. And I also want to acknowledge all the other dad's out there who have lost. We stand with you. We see you. We understand. And I want to acknowledge all the men who are fighting daily to be fathers, who are longing to be fathers, who are deep in the trenches of building a family and truly have a father's heart. Happy Father's Day ♥♥
This picture was taken a few days after my 3rd IVF transfer of 3 embryos. We didn't know it at the time but I was pregnant with triplets. Issac, Jude, and Brinly. Here is one of Darren's first pictures as their dad. Although none of them are here with us, we love them every single day of our lives and hold on to the promise of seeing them again someday when the world is made right.
