My Nightmare Coming True: 17 Weeks and my Water Broke

October 23, 2013

Insane how quickly things can change.  72 hours ago I was crying for joy with my family and friends celebrating the life and gender of our twins.  I'm currently typing from the delivery room at the hospital.

Yesterday I had stronger cramps than usual but nothing alarming.  I'm 17 weeks and I know that's usually a big growth spirt.  During work I went to the bathroom and I guess I lost my mucous plug.  I again wasn't too alarmed as I've had lots of weird discharge.  We went out for dinner and my cramps were a bit stronger (period like) but my husband convinced me it was most likely growing pains.  After a visit to Dr. Google, I figured it was normal.

I woke up with a strong cramp and went to the bathroom at 11:30pm.  I barely went.  All of the sudden my water broker.  Even though I was seated, it literally burst all over the floor.  I was in shock.  No way.  Maybe I just had to go to the bathroom really bad?  I called the advice line who told me to go straight to ER.

After 2 hours of waiting, they wheeled me back to the ultrasound.  There was my sweet sweet baby Brinly (we already decided on the name) with a strong heartbeat but curled up so so tight like a potato bug in the fetal position.  I could see her spine.  He told me I had lost almost all amniotic fluid.  Then he goes to our sweet boy, Jude.  His sack was full.

They wheel me back and I wait another 2 hours.  Here is the situation.  I beg everyone to ask God for a miracle.

1.  Best casenario:  the sac reseals.  This is rare but can happen (again, they all keep telling me how uncommon it is).  It reseals, refills, and everyone lives.

2.  2nd casenario:  Brinly dies because there is no fluid.  I hate this.  I hate it so much.  My sweet baby girl is so healthy and the only reason she dies is because my water broke-not because of some stupid "abnormality" but simply because my body released her fluid.  She dies BUT I don't go into labor or get an infection.  She stops growing and Jude just has to hang on at least a couple more months.

3.  3rd casenario:  I go into labor.  Very likely.  I might have to actually push out my daughter and see her.  I'm am in a FREAKING delivery room.  If this happens there is a small chance Jude would stay in (I only deliver Brinly) but they can't control it.

4.  Worst casenario:  Since my water broke I'm at high risk for an infection.  If I get an infection, they both die.  The OBGYN will force me to deliver to safe myself and uterus if we ever have the courage to try this again.


I keep thinking I'm in a bad dream.  Is this real?  I know I didn't have regular periods, but my cervix and everything is normal.  Am I seriously about to fall into that >1% that losses their babies after the 12 weeks?

A few posts ago I posted about how God never has and never will forsake me.  I can honestly say that it crossed my mind that God knows Darren and I are strong and bold about our faith.  If we can still praise His name, declare His glory, and remain un-bitter-who knows who that can bring to Christ.  I selfishly so do not want that job!  If I lose these 2 precious, forever-waited-for, so loved babies, I honestly think I would want to curl up and die for a bit.  This isn't a "miscarriage" where I can get them cleaned out and move on to the next treatment (as awful as that was) this is I might push them out and see them gasp for air. 

For those of you that know me, I truly accept that He gives and He takes away.  But please Lord, not here, not now.  Not like this.  Please join with us in praying that I'm one of the lucky one's who's sacs reseal and that Brinly makes it.