Pulling the Trigger

July 2013  (I'm trying to be vague with exact dates so I don't FREAK out, but this has recently happened)

What a whirlwind this cycle has been.  I took a night job for the graduate program at a university in Oregon so I've been busy thinking about that instead of the nightly injections and growing follicles.

The REs did start me on a lower dose this time.  I respond really really well.  Like too well to the point where it's bad.  Last time around they had me trigger shot on Day 9. 

After today's ultrasound there are 26 follicles and 15 are completely mature.  The RE on call (Dr. Wu, she is the one who did my first fresh transfer back in the fall) was pretty confident in doing it a day early.  She said they could push me one more day and get more mature follicles (last time they "harvested" 24) but she said she didn't want my estrogen levels super high and thought I would have a better chance at success if we cut it short and go over the 15ish that are mature.  She said I "could have" miscarried last time because of all the inflammations in the pelvis from the crazy amount of eggs retrieved.  She said "if you were doing a 'freeze all' I would push it out one more day and say go for it.  But since fresh cycles have higher success rates and the goal is to get you pregnant, I want you to trigger tonight."

I was a little shocked.  I was half excited (wow, we are doing something different from last cycle, this could be good) and a little scared (if I'm going to go through ALL this, I want to suck it up one more day and have more follicles).  I remember that my husband had encouraged me to trust the RE's judgement and God.  I have been praying that He would give them wisdom.

I had my first meltdown on the way home.  Crying on the freeway.  Crying because there is no turning back.  Crying because this amazing opportunity is so close.  Crying because I'm happy and excited.  Crying because I'm scared. 

Tonight I trigger at 9:00 pm.  Then I'm just 36 hours away from the "show getting started" and the beginning of the dreaded 2WW.  Here. We.  Go.