To My Sweet Snow Babies,
Most women feel sorry for me, that we have to do IVF. I’ll admit, it wasn’t how I imagined bringing
you into this world, but the only thing that matters is that you come. Unlike most women, I have the privilege of
knowing the second that you are created and the second that you are in my body.
You were created by God’s hands 4 months ago. There hasn’t been a single second that has
passed by without me thinking of you.
Missing you. Whenever we drive by
the hospital my heart skips a beat knowing that I’m so close to you. Even when I'm happy, I'm a litte sad because I'm wishing you were here now. Tomorrow, my loves, you come home. You get placed where you belong. Inside me.
You have lived in my heart and mind so long. Tomorrow you’re home.
I cannot begin to describe to you had deeply you are wanted.
So many children are born from accident,
out of wedlock, or to mom’s that cry out of disappointment when they find out
they are expecting. You are not going to
be a surprise. You are going to be a
gift that we cried for, pleaded with Jesus for, that we physically battled for
through the pain of the injections and medicine and surgeries and procedures and
failures and doubts. If you ever
question our love for you, I beg you to remember this letter. You were so incredibly anticipated and sought after, you are
our dreams come true.
Tomorrow my loves they take you from the sterile hospital
walls and place you home. With every
ounce of my power I beg you to fight too.
Your mommy fights big time for things that others think impossible. Your dad has overcome so many mountains
people never thought he would conquer.
I pray that spirit is in you. Fight
for our family too. Do what you are
supposed to do. Implant and grow the way
God made biology to work. Develop. Grow a heartbeat. Produce in size. Live. We
want to hold you in our arms more than life itself. The dethaw process is tough on embryos. Fight.
We dream of what you will be like. Tall? Athletic? Funny?
Will you have a sensitive heart and care for the hurting? Will you be
cleaver and quick? Will you do well in
school? We imagine you to have many
friends and that you will have a kind heart.
We imagine that you will be happy and a joy.
So my sweet loves, please, I ask again. Fight.
Snuggle in as you are made to do.
I cannot wait to spend the next 10 days with you and even if Jesus takes
you back, I feel privileged to hold you in my womb for even that short of at
time. Tomorrow you will be home.
you are already a wonderful mother. thank you for reminding me to fall to my knees and thank god for this day and every single one before and after it.
ReplyDeleteShannon, you are so amazing. I love that you SO APPRECIATE the gift you have growing in you. I think women who have gone through IF feel so honored and lucky when it happens. Your bump is soooooo cute!!
DeleteI have been praying for you. Keep us updated!!
ReplyDeleteI wrote something similar to this and put in it his baby book when we found out we were pregnant. I hope you do the same, because this is so stunning and beautiful. Your love for your babies is breathtaking and it is obviously you are already an amazing mother. I cannot tell you how hard I am praying.
ReplyDeleteJen you inspired me to write it. I read your letter when you did IVF before. It's so heartfelt! I love the idea of putting it in the baby book!! YES! Your prayers mean the world.
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