Calm Before the Storm

October 7, 2012

Assuming the RE is fine with me moving forward with IVF despite the mild cervical issues, today is the calm before the storm.  It's funny how "emotional" taking ONE HSG shot made me.  I couldn't believe I was at the level of having to take and injection.  I've done the math.  Starting tomorrow over the next few weeks I will be giving myself over 50 injections!

I follow several blogs and realize there are several attitudes I can choose to acquire during this.  I can go through the "life isn't fair" and "why me" ranging to "this really sucks, but worth it," to "praise the Lord I get to inject myself again because I'm on the way to baby land."  I think I'm going to work on staying in the last 2 mind frames.  I'm human. It will hurt.  The side effects are scary.  I hate needles not to mention Darren is freaked to inject me (we take the class tomorrow).  I don't want to be superficial and act like it doesn't bother me at all, but I also want to remain hopeful and grateful this science is an option.

My sister in law gave me a book awhile back about 3 friends who had issues conceiving.  One had to go on to IVF and talked about the various injections but the one that put the most shutters through me was one she had entitled the "HOLY SH*T SHOT"  (aka the progesterone oil one that goes into butt muscle).  That was is one of the lasts.  I think HOLY SH*T SHOT sounds like a good blog post title.

Although we are keeping this a secret from family, I'm telling close friends.  One friend wasn't aware of what IVF was so I explained it.  She said "I want to have my kids the normal way." Seriously?  Why didn't I think of that? ;)

So today I will relax, organize the house, lesson plan, watch Once Upon a Time, pray.  I can do this.  It will be over in a month.  Bring it.  But, until tomorrow's first Lupron injection (which I heard several refer to as 'Lupron Hell') I'm going to enjoy the calm.